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Abused Father Syndrome

13 April 2009 3,011 views 6 Comments

Why some non resident fathers are pushed over the edge.

If you look up Abused Father Syndrome in any sociology or psychology textbook, you won’t find it, so what is it we are talking about? Could there be such a psychological condition recognised in the future that could be used as a defence or partial defence in the law of provocation?

Abused Father Syndrome (AFS) arises when the victim has been a long and constant sufferer of Domestic Violence (DV) perpetrated by his children’s mother and/or the maternal family over many years. The type of DV that a non resident father suffers most from is emotional and psychological abuse.

Unlawfully denying a father to a continuing loving relationship to his children by the children’s mother when the relationship fails constitutes emotional and psychological abuse. We use unlawfully to mean without a lawful reason to stop contact such as being convicted of child abuse or DV.

The mother informing the children’s school that the father cannot see the children to prevent the father from being involved in his children’s education even when the father as Parental Responsibility (PR), calling the police and lying by telling them that the father goes round to her house to harass her, so she can frustrate family court proceedings and to get the father arrested and locked up; which would keep the father from seeing his children, getting the maternal family to beat up the father to keep him away from his children are a few types of psychological abuse.

After suffering years of abuse at the hands of his children’s mother and maternal family it has a devastating affect on the father. Sometimes, mainly around Christmas time a father may commit suicide because he cannot handle the abuse any more. But what happens in the most extreme cases of a father suffering from AFS is that he kills the mother of his children. Can this behaviour be interpreted as DV?

The Department for Constitutional Affairs, which used to be the Lord Chancellor’s Department, published a paper in 2003 called Domestic Violence: A Guide to Civil Remedies and Criminal Sanctions, which gives the legal definition of DV as being:

“Domestic violence and abuse is best described as the use of physical and/or emotional abuse or violence, including undermining off self-confidence, sexual violence, or the threat of violence, by a person who is or has been in a close relationship. Domestic violence can…involve…the destruction of a spouse’s or partner’s property, their isolation from friends, family, or other potential sources of support, threats to others including children, control over access to money, personal items, food, transportation and the telephone, and stalking” (Probert R., Cretney’s Family Law, 5th Ed. 2003, p.107).

After reading the legal definition it is easily seen that AFS is the result of years of suffering from DV very much in a similar way female victims have suffered, and as a result, when women have lashed out they have been able to use the term ‘Battered Women’s Syndrome” to assist the defence of provocation in murder cases to prove it affected the accused’s personality for it to become a relevant characteristic, (Taylor CJ, R v Thornton (No 2) [1996] 1 WLR 1174, Jefferson, M., Criminal Law, 5th Ed. 2001, p.90).

If we are meant to live in a society where men and women are treated equally in the eyes of the law then it would only be right if non resident fathers if they have been victims of DV have the same defences as women and be able to claim AFS. After all, non resident fathers are only human too.

Pete Molloy


  • admin (author) said:

    Yes this is an excellent article. What we need is to publish these type of letters in national / local press to coincide with the feminist rubbish that is a regular feature in our local / national papers. if this is not done the population keep in their mind that men are the baddies. We need to highlight the baddy females as well.



  • admin (author) said:

    My wife of 18 years left me for a married millionaire and has since turned my children against me. Were I not a Christian raised by two of the finest parents on the face of the earth, she would be dead now. Some of her lies include telling my children I first had an affair on her and it was me that filed for the divorce. I have offered to take a lie detector test on the affair business and told the kids (both now over 18) to go to the county seat to read the divorce papers. They refuse.

    A woman I dated put it to me such that I can cope, “Your kids know you love them and that love is unconditional. With your ex, they are not so sure. They would do anything to try to win her approval and that includes hurting their father.” These wise words from a woman with little in the way of education beyond high school made me investigate sociopathic personality disorders. I got the answers I need to go on in this thing we call “life”.

    Because I love my children so very much, and this is indeed not a contest between my ex and I as she would have it be, I worry most about my children and how crushed they will feel when they discover they have given up a relationship with a father who did nothing wrong for a mother who was for and about lies. How betrayed will they feel whether I am in my golden years or in my gr ave? How devastated will they be? How could a mother do this to a man who helped her conceive and who supposedly loves the children she conceived with him?

    Anonymous respondent from Illinois

  • Phoebe said:

    Abused Father Syndrome is very real. As a member of FNF, I am witness to its effects daily.

  • helen1209 said:

    I have only just found that such a thing as Parental Alienation Syndrome exists and am so releived that it is highly unlikely to be my fault and only wish I had found this information earlier. My daughter has not spoken to me or seen me since 7th January 2008, she will be sixteen in December. Her father emotionally and psychologically abused me throughout our 12 year relationship (ending when my daughter was 8 – I simply could not take it anymore). I never thought he would be capable of doing this to his child though. Since our separation he has clearly worked at it for sometime, culminating in succeeding in my daughter telling me she hates me and never wants to see me again. Abused father and indeed …mother Syndrome definately does exist!

  • kipling777 said:


    I liken the provocation to someone poking you gently in the arm with a finger. Nothing serious but eventually, if it doesn’t stop….I feel so sorry for those Dads that are pushed over the edge. The Mum then says, there I told you he was unstable, that’s why he committed murder/suicide. Self-fulfilling prophesy

    I’m only still here because of friends and support from wherever I could get it

  • nickLOVeMYKiDS4Life said:

    Whichever sex was given unfair power over the other -implied or lawful- those without morals or empathy within its ranks would take full advantage. The law has to change. This is an obvious misery in Britain that is so simple to rectify just.. make.. the… law… equal… regardless… of… sex… As always this country is so Jurassic in its response to clear need… how can we hold our heads high in this supposed civilised world when we leave our men open to emotional torture. Don’t forget its not only the men separating from their partners that are suffering. Those in existing relationships allow themselves to be bullied because of the implications of the relationship ending resulting in them losing their children.

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