The consequences of growing up without a father can have devastating effects on children. In particular, boys who grow up without the role model of a man face difficult problems in life. They have no one to identify with or learn from.

 

No matter a woman’s good intentions, if children are alone with a mother, there will always be some resentment towards the father who is not around, whether that be through separation, divorce or death. I also believe they will also resent the mother eventually for being the only parent. Boys tend to respond better to a man correcting them properly, rather than a woman.

 

Every child wants to be in a normal family, of one mother and one father. Some may pretend they don’t mind. But secretly they do. The man needs to be the head of the home. Not in a dominating or forceful way, but in a firm, kind and gentle way. We instinctively know what a good father is.

 

From the moment they are born, boys are answerable to women in a large number of homes. From home to school, women also tend to be the most dominating influencing spirits around them. There needs to be more male teachers in the schools. Fathers need to be in the homes.

 

Being a mother on my own with two sons, I always felt particular vulnerable with my children. The protective factor of a male presence in the home sometimes left us open. It was like an invisible security fence had been removed. There was an open doorway. We were often taken advantage of. Sometime I would be afraid that someone could break into my home and I would be unable to protect them when they were young.

 

You also come to a stage where you cannot be there as the only parent in their life. A young boy playing football is sometimes embarrassed by their mother standing on the sidelines cheering them on, when other boys have their fathers there. Sometimes, it is sensible to leave.

 

It is terribly sad for any child not to be able to say the name Father or Dad, and to know a father’s love. Great emphasis is placed on mothers love. The love of a Father is overlooked.

 

As a mother, I would sometimes know and feel resentment, because there was no man around myself. No other adult to share the responsibility. I would sometimes take my frustration out by being too harsh with my children, then feel guilty, and then be too soft. This would confuse them a great deal, and were very emotional tools.

 

Growing up, we have so often taken for granted our own fathers, if we have had one around. None of them have been particularly perfect. Some have been shocking.

 

I paid little attention to my own growing up, but he was always there in the background. I knew if I was late at home at night, he would be the one standing on the doorstep. If I look at photographs of him now, new that he has gone, I see a little sadness behind his eyes. Sometimes he would be very funny, sometimes very angry. It was not until he died, that I learnt that his own father had left him when he was young. It never crossed my mind to ask him about his parents. I wish I could ask him now, and listen to his story.

 

It is greatly inspiring to hear about a band of men in the UK, called Fathers for Justice. A group of real men who are not afraid to protest about the need for a father in the home, and to highlight the fact that men are being pushed out, with emphasis placed on the needs of a woman, rather than the needs of a child, and the importance of a family.

 

They have pulled some pretty odd stunts in the past that has gained them a lot of attention. Now the serious work begins, in lobbying and protesting parliament. Recently, they were confronted by a man who had donated his sperm to a lesbian couple to have a baby.http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bristol/7625791.stm

 

This man was proud of the fact that he had helped this couple. It was hardly something to be proud of. But then, of course, the emphasis is supposed to be on parenting, and not on gender. It is sad that men are losing their role in life. They are falling for tricks. Our children are suffering for our adult games.

 

So many of us, will never know any love from a father. Even those of us who have had decent fathers, and have received some love and guidance, know that the love that we crave comes not from a human being. One day, all of us also have to say goodbye to our human father.

 

Better now, rather than later, to search for love from our Creator.